Rise of the Triad Review

Fall of Nostalgia. 

To be fair, Rise of the Triad is available for just $15, and will likely appeal to hardcore RotT fans who’d love nothing more than to play an updated version of the 1994 original that features a remastered soundtrack and relatively modern art. If you’re one of those, then this remake works, even if it only manages to update the graphics to 2006 standards. But if you never played 1994’s RotT, and are thus incapable of wistfully experiencing this slavishly authentic regurgitation through nostalgia-colored glasses, it will probably – and hopefully, for your sake – be one of the worst shooters you’ve ever played.

As was the custom of shooters of that time, the story doesn’t matter, but opening and closing amateurish comic book-style sequences convey the flimsy excuse for action. You’re a member

of the HUNT (High-risk United Nations Task-force) team sent to the island of San Nicolas to destroy the evil Triad organization before it can nuke Los Angeles…and yada, yada, yada, blow stuff up. Oh, and Nazis are there for some reason (namely that RotT was originally planned as an expansion for Wolfenstein 3D). For better and worse, this Rise of the Triad succeeds in capturing the look and feel of its 16-bit predecessor. Playing as one of five different characters, each with slightly different speed and endurance stats, you’ll zoom around maze-like levels like you’re on ice skates strapped to rockets, fighting enemies who explode into bloody piles of limbs under the stress of a stiff breeze. If you have the patience, you’ll dodge spinning-blade traps and uncover bronze, silver, and gold keys to unlock doors and bring you that much closer to the end of each of RotT’s 20 insanely difficult levels. And now you can do all this while being able to mouselook anywhere! (Notable because the original is that old.)

But here’s the thing: developer Interceptor Entertainment has brought back the old-school feel... but it’s also brought back old-school problems, too, and most of those were left in the past for a reason. RotT’s collection of jackbooted, robotic, and monk enemies are brain-dead simpletons that stand as still as turrets or run straight at you, never take cover, and immediately shoot you on sight, often from outrageous distances. There’s nothing quite as annoying as entering a room to find yourself being sprayed by gunfire from…somewhere. The mannequin-like Nazi enemies are especially bad, because their grey military attire blends into the drab backgrounds, making them almost invisible except for faint muzzle flashes.

And you know how modern shooters (by which I mean anything from the past decade) enjoy features like reasonable collision detection and somewhat-accurate hitboxes? Not so much in this creaky throwback. Despite its Unreal Engine 3 graphics, you should prepare to get stuck in geometry, unable to move until you restart the level or just blow yourself up…just like the good old days! (It's even worse now that we can jump ourselves into inescapable situations.) Trying to shoot a bad guy’s legs through the open space under a truck? Those bullets will bounce off an invisible wall. Oh, and headshots…well, there are headshots, technically, but some enemies can be so ridiculously resistant that it may take several to pierce their thick skulls. For most, though, bullets, rockets, and firebombs to any part of the body will result in the same glorious shower of bloody gibs.

Our research concludes that Nazis are made of blood.

 Some of the old shooter magic still works, of course. One of the things I loved about the original was all the secrets, and the new Rise of the Triad doesn’t skimp. Pushing the ‘E’ key to interact with odd stones or discolored wall sections can lead to hidden treasure troves of armor, coin pickups, and advanced weaponry. There are even some cool entirely new surprises, like when I stumbled upon a secret shrine to Duke Nukem 3D (which came out two years after RotT). Dog and Shrooms pickups that temporarily turn you into a four-legged canine or get you high, respectively, are goofy good fun, though completely gratuitous.

Equally loopy is the assortment of weapons that range from the simple pistol to increasingly explosive armaments. Highlights include the Heat Seeker, which targets homing missiles at the nearest warm-bodied enemy; the Flame Wall, which launches a travelling wall of fire; and the supernatural Dark Staff, which blasts opponents with magic lightning. (Because why not?) The downside is that the more devastating the splash damage of the weapons, the more likely you are to blow yourself up accidentally, and RotT has no pity for those who would disregard their own safety.

Oddly enough, the one old-school feature that didn’t make the cut and would’ve helped enormously with RotT’s often cheap-feeling and outrageously high difficulty level is the ability to save anywhere. Rise of the Triad in 2013 uses a checkpoint-only system (strange for a PC-only shooter) which aggravates further when you factor in how obnoxiously far apart these checkpoints are spaced. Most levels only seem to have three or four, and they're not short levels. Accidentally fall off a ledge because trying to hop up slippery columns at breakneck speed with loosey-goosey jump mechanics is a wee bit treacherous? Maybe getting sent back to the beginning of the level will help with that.

Multiplayer is the saving grace of Rise of the Triad, largely because the opponents are smarter (they actually move!) and, with the many jump pads littering each map, the action is reminiscent of Quake. Deathmatch, Team Deathmatch, and Capture the Flag are included, and Interceptor promises more modes will become available as free DLC later on. That said, if you’re looking for an arena-style shooter that plays like Quake III, you should definitely just play Quake III, because it's still amazing.